Are you stuck in a marriage crisis? Do you wish you had the happy beginning back? It's not unusual. A good marriage is not characterized by the number of crises, but by how it deals with them.
I'll show you 6 ways to overcome a marriage crisis. We go into the causes of relationship problems and what you can do to bring a breath of fresh air into your partnership again. This article mainly focuses on applying the methods shown.
The situation is deadlocked. It doesn't go back and forth. Both of you have already thought about separation. But it would have serious consequences. Divorce attorney may charge you a little, but the house and children may suffer badly. And where are the feelings?
Talking to each other profitably has been difficult lately. Opinions are bogged down. All attempts to solve the problem so far have failed.
You are at a loss. That's why you decided to ask Google and searched about Coping with Marriage Crisis.
'Maybe the Internet will help ...'
I think you are doing just the right thing. You are actively approaching your situation by doing some research. Clearly, further steps must follow. Every journey begins with a first step. Finding out more here is the first step.
1. What to do about a marriage crisis: Overcoming means understanding
Marital crisis what now? Once the marriage is in a mess, we often see the situation as hopeless. Everything is black and we see no way out. Now it can be helpful to remember the Chinese translation.
Every crisis also harbors an opportunity. The Greek word krisis means a climax and turning point of a dangerous situation. Ultimately, a crisis only says:
It can't go on like this. It has to be different.
Prior to be different, however, many people express. This happens because we steer into the unknown when we make changes. The following sentence expresses it quite well:
I don't know if I do it differently it'll be better. But it has to be different in order for it to be better.
When changes are made in a relationship, there is no certainty whether they will be positive or negative . Many people shy away from taking this step into the unknown. Because of this, the downward spiral continues to rotate slowly. Up to a point where the seemingly deadlocked situation of a crisis is there.
Marital crisis what now? She entered. You have the certainty that things will not go on as before. There is a risk of emotional and often financial losses.
On the crisis occasion, however, there is also the chance that things can get better than before. To do this, bold changes must be made.
2. Stay active
You have already taken the helm by reading this article. Stay active on the ball. Even if you don't know where you are going, try out new and unusual things - for example the following tips.
The most important thing is that you don't just give in to progress, but actively help shape it. You certainly cannot control it. But you can exert influence.
Have hopeful thoughts.
'That too will pass.'
'When one door closes, another opens.'
Even if you can't see a new way yet, there will be. Actively search for it. You can seek an exchange with your partner , think about your own contribution to the situation and also see what you can do better in the future. What do you learn from the crisis?
3. What is the worst that can happen?
Ask yourself: 'What's the worst that can happen?'
I recommend you take a piece of paper and write it down. Well, imagine it actually happened:
- Partner away
- House away
- Children away
- Job gone
- Parents mad at you
- Broken car
- Dog dead
- Best friend abroad
- You will get sick
What would you do? I would do this here:
- Who can support me now? Helpline, employment office, ...
- Inform friends of an emergency and ask for help
- Taking time for grief and despair
- Take time to get well
- Learn meditation
- Register for personal bankruptcy
- Let me write sick and go to therapy
- Seek a discussion with parents to clarify
- Start from scratch
Coping with a marital crisis is very difficult, but it continues even after the worst horror scenario. It goes on and on. The likelihood is high that it won't turn out too bad.
The practice will help you realize that your current situation is not the end of the world. At the same time, it helps you to accept and deal with possible losses. That takes away the horror.
Once the shock is gone, it is often the same as with dogs. If they feel your fear of them, they'll really start to bark. If they see that you are not afraid of them, they respect you. You can take away the power of self-fulfilling prophecy by preparing for the worst.
Expect the worst and hope the best.
4. Ask for advice
Someone who has overcome a marital crisis already has experience that you still lack at this point in time. He has also found a solution. That you could at least serve as a stimulus , if you want to deal with your marriage crisis.
5. Find a coach
'I don't need a coach!' - is a statement that I hear a lot. You don't need a coach. The question is more that of will. A coach is not a therapist.
Who can be coached?
- Top executives
- Successful people
If you are in a marital crisis, your own view of things is often clouded. I recommend that you consult a coach. He looks at the situation from the outside and neutrally. But many do not take this step. Therefore:
- You think you can do it yourself
- One is afraid of this step
- You are not ready to invest money
6. Recognize the pattern of your marital problems
Often there is an unconscious destructive relationship pattern in relationship. The psychological direction of transactional analysis (TA) calls this pattern the drama triangle.
Especially in marriages in which there is a lot of arguing, both partners find themselves in one of the cumbersome roles of the drama triangle.
If you play in the drama triangle, you take on one of the roles. The partner occupies a different position. For example, when she talks about the stressful day at work (victim) and he gives unsolicited tips (rescuer).
It works fine for a while. However, after a while a role change occurs (double arrows in the picture above). It happens unconsciously. For example, it is enough for him that she does not implement his tips. That's why he gets angry (switch to the pursuer). This creates problems in a relationship and can eventually lead to a marriage crisis.
The dangerous thing about the drama triangle is that its dynamic happens unconsciously. Unbeknownst to the lovers, it is the main cause of marital problems.